SO LONG, MOM, I'M OFF TO DROP THE BOMB

Yesterday I wrote about October surprises.  Today comes the news that a 20-year-old Deplorable named Jacob Wohl has promised to deliver an “October surprise” of his own on Thursday, which technically makes it a November surprise.  Wohl claims he’ll produce a woman who’ll assert that Robert Mueller raped her back in 2010. 

This isn’t Wohl’s first scam on behalf of Donald Trump.  He uses Twitter to issue transparently bogus claims about Democrats, and he’s not subtle.  They all start out “I was in a hipster coffee house, and heard some Dems whispering among themselves.”  Remarkably, those caffeinated hipster Dems always seemed to be whispering about how well Donald Trump is handling the issue du jour.  For a Deplorable, Wohl spends a lot of time in hipster coffee houses.

As you may have deduced, Wohl is not very bright.  He was pretty ostentatiously offering to pay women to accuse Mueller of harassment and assault.  When he found a taker, he couldn’t resist bragging about it.  He called various media outlets, pushing his story.  It sounded fishy to professional journalists, and they didn’t have to dig far to confirm their suspicions. 

In an attempt to convince the media that he had conducted a serious investigation, Wohl created a website for a sham organization called Surefire Intelligence.  Reporters are trained to be skeptical, and they decided to investigate rather than to take Wohl’s word.  Who could have anticipated that?  Not Wohl, that’s for sure.  The phone number he listed on the Surefire Intelligence website redirected to his mother’s voicemail.  Hi, mom!

Of course, Mueller got wind of the plot last week.  Did he panic?  Nope.  He immediately referred the matter to the FBI and simply got on with his work.       

If you run across any Deplorables who fall for this hoax and try to equate this Wohl’s accusation with those against Brett Kavanaugh, remember this.  When Kavanaugh’s accusers came forward, he and his Republican enablers did everything in their power to stave off an investigation, and when that tactic didn’t work, they rendered the brief FBI investigation meaningless by severely limiting its scope.  Faced with a similar charge, Robert Mueller simply told the FBI to get to the bottom of it. 

One of them has something to hide, and the other doesn’t.